About me: the extended version

Okay! So this blog has been chugging away for about two, three weeks now. I now have more followers than I have fingers. This is good news! I hope you stick around.

At some point soon, I want to expand out from talking about things in my house and get into more serious topics. But you don’t know me very well, and background is important. So here’s, you know, some background.

  1. I spent years as a pretty serious ballet dancer. I went to a performing arts boarding school for the last two years of high school, and then performed with a professional dance company for a while. I don’t really dance anymore, because…
  2. I totally burned out on it because I do not have a ballerina’s body and that is kind of a dealbreaker for some people (cough cough certain dance teachers). A few years of disordered eating and major body dysmorphia indicated to me that maybe dance wasn’t my destiny. At which point…
  3. I went to college and decided to major in English, because a professor explained to some random class I was in that the well-known mantra “write what you know” is a short-sighted way to approach creative writing. This turned out to be a great choice…
  4. Because then I got a job in college writing for, and editing, the op-ed section of the college newspaper. I wrote a lot of AWFUL columns in which I expressed bad opinions based on shoddy research and whiny white-girl privilege. They weren’t good and I am increasingly ashamed of them as the years go by. That said, working for the paper made me realize that I wanted to work in editing for a long, long time. So I started applying to grad school…
  5. But I didn’t get in right away. So I spent a year getting a master’s degree at my alma mater (it was my safety, okay?) because they gave me a full ride provided I work in the marketing department. I did that, while dating a Very Bad Dude who was incredibly emotionally abusive and caused me a lot of tears. One time he shot a bird in front of me, and yeah the bird was injured and probably wouldn’t have survived, but was it really necessary for Dude to be all “Hang on,” and get out of the car and grab his gun and BLAM BLAM BLAM the bird dead in the driveway on a sunny afternoon? That’s just the way I remember it. Anyway…
  6. The one good thing that the Very Bad Dude gave me was the idea that grad school was the one way to get ahead in life. And I didn’t really feel like my alma mater in rural western Pennsylvania was going to get me where I wanted to go. So I started applying to other schools. And then I got an acceptance letter…
  7. From DePaul University. So I moved to Chicago in the summer of 2011. The Very Bad Dude and I broke up three months later, when he insisted that I not come to see him over Thanksgiving because he would be too busy to see me and then I would be mad, and he didn’t want deal with it. Cue eye rolls for days, until the following summer…
  8. When I was feeling kind of bored, and it was one of the hottest summers on record, and at some friends’ insistence I signed up for OKCupid. I went out with a couple of guys, and then this guy called JD sent me a message…
  9. And we went out, and then we kept going out. And then we got engaged a year later, and we were married a year after that. Sometime in there we adopted two young cats. We rented a lovely little apartment in Lincoln Square. JD worked in law and I worked as an office manager. And it was good! The only thing missing was a little bit of career fulfillment, something to bring some spark and light to those 40 hours a week when we have to make money. And so…
  10. In two days, JD starts his prerequisite classes for a degree in nursing. And me, I’m still plugging away at the job I’ve had for four and a half years, but now I have this blog. And I joined a choir. And my mom asked me to design a get-well card for her. So there is hope for those of us would-be artists.

That’s about it for now. Thanks for reading.

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Hey ladies

A post shared by Ursula Wheeler (@urspostrophe) on

That’s Simone on the left, Freya on the right.


eating fries
JD and me, the night before our wedding.


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