Hardware stores vs. craft stores

This is 100% accurate, unbiased journalism from an objective source, me.

Hardware stores

-Smell really great, a nice subtle blend of rubber and sawdust

-Lots of bins of little metal bits, like nuts and bolts and washers, very fun for scooping your fingers through

-Usually there is a cat around

-You can get keys made there which is honestly pretty hardcore

-That one charming corner with like seeds and soil and kitschy watering cans is pretty cute

-Usually locally owned/family owned

-You can go in to buy, like, exactly one screw and no one will bat an eyelash

-Sometimes the old dudes working there can get a liiiiiitle mansplainy but somehow I don’t mind

-Either there is no music playing, or it’s some chill Dad Rock

Grade: A+++++++++


craft store

Craft stores

-Smell really terrible, like glue and charred polyester

-Everyone working in them seems angry and disenchanted

-I love a good bargain but any place that has continuous 40%-off-everything sales is deeply suspect to me, like why don’t you just mark everything down permanently and chill with the coupons

-I get a headache the second I walk inside, what else do you want

-Okay, you can get some nice fabric and maybe some fancy paint, but otherwise it’s aisles and aisles of cheap holiday decorations and plastic garbage

-Hobby Lobby is one of them, so

-The music is 30% whatever was mildly popular 15 years ago and 70% commercials for the very store you are in

-I went to a Michael’s one time to buy a zipper and they didn’t sell zippers (?????)

-I dunno, I have to go in craft stores from time to time and even if I get what I need I just feel like the whole place is laughing at me, they’re so infantilizing and tempting me with their stupid cheap crap

Grade: F

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