Things I’d rather do than disappoint someone

Live alone on an island for the rest of my life

Make myself a cocoon, but then just never come out of it

Get into a car accident bad enough to put me in the hospital for a week or so

Find out that one or both of my parents are not actually my real parents

Go to a Guy Fieri restaurant AND eat there

Be the sole human survivor of the apocalypse

Carry someone’s heartbreaking, life-changing secret to my grave

Be in a coma for a few months

Discover that someone I love is actually terrible

Find out that some iconic, gorgeous couple is getting a divorce (Will and Kate, Ellen and Portia, the Obamas, etc.)

Relive that week in January when both David Bowie and Alan Rickman died

Spend an afternoon with any of my exes

Move back to my hometown, thus disappointing no one but myself

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